if someone has a fucking phobia of something don’t be an asshole and play with their fear for your own amusementUNLESS IT’S HOMOPHOBIA. THEN YOU ACT AS NON-STRAIGHT AS YOU CAN AND WATCH THE BLOOD POUR OUT OF THEIR EYES
[listens to a fall out boy song] yes this is my favorite [listens to another fall out boy song] this is also my favorite [listens to every fall out boy song] yes, my favorite
it’s nine in the afternoon and my thighs are the size of the moon
I just can’t understand how someone can say kill yourself whether it be a joke or serious.
my little cousin got bit by a house spider and she was crying so i went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it but before i could even walk out the door i heard her quietly whisper ‘i can’t handle the responsibility of being spiderman’
listen, i don’t know about you, but the only people I know who actually enjoy the smell of axe body spray are not women. it’s dudes. it’s all dudes. i have worn axe body spray and walked into a room and have been complimented by legions of dudes. axe body spray is an agent of the gay agenda to make men smell better for other men to unlock their latent homosexuality and there is no stopping them now, we’re in too deep and it’s far too late.
im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to
spiderman dances to the beat
no matter what song
ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour
you know the thing about potatoes though? there’s like barely anybody who doesn’t like them in some variety or another. and there are so many varieties. you can do so so so so so much with a potato. if you’re gonna call yourself a potato, i’m gonna try to put a positive spin on it, because you deserve a positive spin, what with you being beautiful and all